Bleach hits Facebook
by LollyRabbit
Summary: What happens when the whole of the Bleach cast hits Facebook? Havoc! Read about the antics of your favourite Shinigami via social-networking site. R&R
1. Chapter 1: Marry me?

**A/N: **Hey! I've started a new Bleach fanfic! Wooo!  
>I know this isn't really that original cause a few other people have done this before but I LOVE the concept of bleach characters on Facebook.<br>This is probably one of my only fics that actually has everyone in character and there aren't really any particular pairings. Sure, there's a bit of IchiRuki, HitsuHina, maybe even a bit of RenRuki in the future but only if you're looking out for the pairings.  
>This first chapter is short and sweet...mostly just an appetiser before the main course. Other chapters will be longer.<br>I feel kind of guilty because I should be updating my other stories before creating a new one...but oh well! The plot bunnies kept on nibbling at my toes and I had to toss them carrots!  
>Please review! I love reviews!<strong><strong>

**Email: Password: notafuckingstrawberry**

**-Welcome to Facebook-**

**Pending friend requests...**

Keigo Asano **ACCEPTED  
><strong>Sado Yasutora **ACCEPTED  
><strong>Isshin Kurosaki **IGNORED**

**Newsfeed-**

**Rukia Kuchiki- **I bought a new chappy poster for my room!  
><em>Byakuya Kuchiki and three others like this<br>~Comments-  
><em>**Ichigo Kurosaki**-** Your** room? You're still sleeping in the closet, don't think I'm having that shitty rabbit poster on **my** wall!  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Let her put the poster up in your room, Ichigo. It'll go nicely with your pink bed spread.  
><em>Rukia Kuchiki likes this<em>  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>It's my sister's bed spread! I only used it once because Rukia took mine!...Besides, how the fuck do you know I had a pink bed spread...  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Calm down Ichigo, I'm the one that told Renji. And I'm going to put the poster up in OUR room. I can't have it in the closet, chappy will get dusty.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Who gave you the permission to buy the poster anyway? Speaking of which, how did you pay for the poster? You don't have any money...  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>You don't have to worry about that, your Dad leant me your credit card and your credit card number so I did it myself. Aren't you proud of me? I managed to work a human credit card all by myself. I am a master of human technology.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- -_-<strong>

**Ichigo Kurosaki accepted Isshin Kurosaki as a friend  
><strong>_Isshin Kurosaki likes this_**  
><strong>_~Comments-  
><em>**Isshin Kurosaki- **Ichigo! You finally accepted your Dad's friend request!  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Yeah, whatever. Why the hell did you give Rukia my credit card, and my credit card number? I only gave you it so you could look after it while I was training!  
><strong>Isshin Kurosaki- <strong>It's not like I couldn't give to her. She really wanted that poster and it's not like I was going to pay for it...  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>So you let me pay for it? Thanks a lot Dad!  
><strong>Isshin Kurosaki- <strong>Anytime my son, anytime.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>*FACEPALM*  
><em><br>_**Toshiro Hitsugaya posted on Rangiku Matsumoto's wall-  
>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>Matsumoto! I know you're on Facebook! Get off the computer and do your paperwork!  
><strong>Momo Hinamori- <strong>But Shiro-chan, if you both have paperwork to do, why are you on Facebook?  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>Be quiet Bedwetter, it's because she won't listen to me shouting across the office. Besides, that's captain Hitsugaya to you!  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Loosen up Taicho, I was only checking my notifications.  
><strong>Momo Hinamori- <strong>Yeah, loosen up Shiro-chan! Stop being so mean!  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Hey, Hinamori! Are you going to Hisagi's party tonight? It's gonna be rad!  
><strong>Momo Hinamori- <strong>Really? He's having a party...I was talking to him earlier and he said he was stuck in the office tonight...  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Well...Hisagi doesn't really know about the party, but I'm sure he won't mind us using his house.  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>Matsumoto, you'll be in the office tonight too, don't think you're going to that party.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Psshh! You don't mean that!  
><strong>Shuhei Hisagi- <strong>Ummm, Rangiku-san...I don't really want a party at my house if I can't attend...  
><em>Toshiro Hitsugaya likes this<em>

** Yachiru Kusajishi posted on Byakuya Kuchiki's wall-  
>Yachiru Kusajishi- <strong>Bya-kun! Why won't you accept my request to marry you on Facebook?  
><em>Renji Abarai likes this<em>  
><em>~Comments<br>_**Byakuya Kuchiki- **I'm not married to you, therefore I will not accept.  
><strong>Yachiru Kusajishi- <strong>Silly, you don't have to be married in real life to get married on facebook!  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Really? You can get married even if you're not actually married? Then why would you get married?  
><strong>Yachiru Kusajishi- <strong>Because it's fun! Uru-chan and boobies got married on Facebook, just for the fun of it!  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Wow, I thought they actually got married.  
><strong>Yachiru Kusajishi- <strong>Nope! Anyways, can you tell Bya-kun to accept my request? I wanna get married to him!  
><strong>Byakuya Kuchiki- <strong>Why don't you marry the captain of the tenth squad? He's more of your height.  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>-_-  
><strong>Byakuya Kuchiki- <strong>Oh, Hitsugaya-Taicho. I wasn't aware you had a Facebook.

**Rukia Kuchiki posted on Ichigo Kurosaki's wall-  
>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Ichigo! Hurry up and accept my request to marry you!  
>~<em>Comments<em>  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Wtf Rukia? We're not married! We're not even going out!  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Baka! You don't have to get married in real life to be married on Facebook! I swear I know more about this human invention called the internet then you do.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Well, who says I wanna get married to you? Even if it is virtually?  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Fine! If you don't want to be my husband I'll ask Renji! I'm sure he'll accept my request!  
><em>Renji Abarai likes this<br>_**Ichigo Kurosaki- **Do whatever the hell you want, as long as I don't end up with you as my wife.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Okay then. What if I asked your Dad to marry me?  
><em>Isshin Kurosaki likes this<em>  
><strong>Isshin Kurosaki- <strong>Of course I'll marry you on Facebook Rukia-chan! Send me the request and I'll say yes straight away!

**Ichigo Kurosaki is now married to Rukia Kuchiki  
><strong>_Rukia Kuchiki likes this_**  
><strong>___Comments_**  
>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Happy?  
><strong>Isshin Kurosaki- <strong>I'm slightly disappointed you married my son, Rukia-chan, we would have made a perfect Facebook couple...However, I'm happy for you Ichigo! Maybe I'll just ask Yuzu or Karin to marry me.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Dad...that's just weird...  
><strong>Orihime Inoue- <strong>...Kurosaki-kun, I never knew you and Kuchiki-san were married...  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Haha! Inoue, it's not what you think! We're only married on Facebook, it's just for fun!  
><strong>Orihime Inoue- <strong>Oh..Well, I'm happy for you Kuchiki-san  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Just for fun? How come you forced me into it?  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>I never forced you to do anything, you're the one who accepted my request.  
><strong>Byakuya Kuchiki- <strong>Rukia, why did you marry trash like the orange substitute shinigami? I could have easily prepared more suitable Facebook-grooms for you. He may bring shame to the Kuchiki name.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Nee-sama? It's okay, I'll keep him in line so he doesn't bring shame upon our family.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Shame upon your family? It's FACEBOOK!

**Yachiru Kusajishi- ** Yay! Can't wait for the sleepover tonight at Bya-kun's place! Peachy-chan, it's your turn to bring the movie! Everyone else bring LOADS OF CANDY!  
><em>Nemu Kurotsuchi, Momo Hinamori, Rangiku Matsumoto and twelve others like this<br>~Comments-  
><em>**Nanao Ise- **Ummm, Kusajishi fuko-taicho**. **It's not a sleepover, we're simply having a meeting.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Ne, Nanao-chan, stop being such a stick in the mud! We're sleeping over there, eating snacks and watching movies...it's a sleepover.  
><strong>Nanao Ise- <strong>I wasn't trying to be a stick in the mud, I'm just pointing out the facts.  
><strong>Momo Hinamori- <strong>I can't wait! Hmmm, what kind of movie should I bring? I'm not bringing any horror movies, that clown movie last time gave me nightmares for a week :(  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>HAHAHA! I remember that, and you screamed when you saw Kurotsuchi-Taicho!  
><strong>Momo Hinamori-<strong> Rangiku-chan! Don't tell everyone that I did that!  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>You should rent out Chappy- the movie.  
><strong>Yachiru Kusajishi- <strong>CHAPPY THE MOVIE! I LOVE THAT MOVIE! Get that one Peachy-chan!  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>No way! We've already seen that movie a zillion times! Ooooh, I know Hinamori, you should bring along those videos of you and Hitsugaya-taicho as kids. Those are hilarious, especially that one of him taking a bath.  
><strong>Momo Hinamori- <strong>I don't think Shiro-chan would like that.  
><em>Toshiro Hitsugaya likes this<br>_**Toshiro Hitsugaya- **Bedwetter! I thought I burnt those videos! And you showed them to Matsumoto? Don't you dare bring those to your sleepover! I will murder you and all those who have watched it if you take it there!  
><em>Rangiku Matsumoto likes this<br>_**Rangiku Matsumoto- **:D Bring them Hinamori, bring them!

**Ichigo Kurosaki- **Renji is so gonna kick my ass at training tomorrow...His SUPERIORITY scares me shitless.  
><em>Renji Abarai likes this<br>~Comments-  
><em>**Ichigo Kurosaki- **RENJI YOU ASSHOLE! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU HACK MY ACCOUNT?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Haha, I didn't hack your account, when I went on your computer you forgot to log out. Sheesh, you're an idiot.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Just you wait, I'm gonna figure your password...  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Ha! Good luck with that!

**Renji Abarai- **Fine...I'll just come out and say it...I'M GAY! That's right! I'm finally out of the closet!  
><em>Ichigo Kurosaki, Yachiru Kusajishi, Nanao Ise and twenty others like this<br>~Comments-  
><em>**Yachiru Kusajishi- **Ha! I knew it! Bya-kun owes me a packet of gummy bears now! YAY!  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>It's alright Renji, we were all expecting this anyway.  
><strong>Byakuya Kuchiki- <strong>...I certainly wasn't expecting it...Okay Kusajishi Fuko-taicho, I will fulfil my promise and give you your packet of gummy bears tomorrow.  
><strong>Ikkaku Madarame-<strong> So...when we were both in the eleventh squad...and we had showers together, all that time you were...o_o  
><strong>Yumichika Ayasegawa- <strong>Gay people are beautiful  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>You're going to die Ichigo, you bastards! I'm NOT gay, Ichigo hacked my account! How the hell did you guess my password?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>It wasn't that hard. Why did you put something as obvious as: REDPINEAPPLE as your password? Seriously? You wear a t-shirt all the time that says REDPINEAPPLE!  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Well, did you have to tell everyone I was Gay? My inbox is full of messages from people offering me 'support' and others offering things I DON'T EVEN WANT TO MENTION.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Revenge is a bitch, isn't it?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>I'm changing my password again -_-

**Renji Abarai- **Haha! I'm such an idiot! Who the hell would put their password as PASSWORD? Only an idiot like me would do that! :D  
><em>Ichigo Kurosaki likes this<em>  
>~Comments-<br>**Renji Abarai-** Seriously...Fuck you, Ichigo.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki-<strong> LOL, saying that won't really help convince people you're not gay.

**A/N: **Did you like it? (I always say that after a chapter, it's a habit) If you did, review and tell me why, if you didn't...do the same thing!  
>I love critique and compliments! <p>


	2. Chapter 2: Number one hacker

**A/N: **Yeah, I know! I said the other chapters would be longer but I just really wanted to post this second chapter up. I got really good reviews from you guys to thanks so much!  
>I've added in most of the characters you guys have requested and in the further chapters I think I'll include the Visored and more of the Espadas...Maybe even Aizen, Gin and Tosen..who knows?<br>I've been thinking of a way to include Hollow-Ichigo and I have an idea, I just don't know when I'm gonna put it in.  
>Reviews would be splendid<p>

**Email: **OrangeShinigami227 hotmail. com**  
><strong>**Password: **Notafuckingstrawberry

**-Welcome to Facebook-**

News Feed-  
>Rangiku Matsumoto uploaded 34 photos to the album: SWA SLEEPOVER!<p>

_Nemu Kurotsuchi, Rukia Kuchiki, Yachiru Kusajishi, _Jushiro_ Utitake and twelve others like this  
>~Comments-<br>_**Rangiku Matsumoto- **WOOOOO! Best sleepover ever! Let's do it again next weekend, eh, Ladies?  
><strong>Yachiru Kusajishi- <strong>My favourite part was when Whitey-chan burst through the window shouting at us...Oh, and the candy!  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>I wasn't shouting! I was just checking that Bedwetter didn't bring the videos of me to the sleep over!  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>And breaking Byakuya-Taicho's window while doing so?  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>It was the only way to get in -_-  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>I reckon the best part was when we played truth or dare. :D  
><strong>Momo Hinamori- <strong>Truth or Dare was my least favourite part! I can't believe you made me make out with Rukia's chappy plushie!  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>I wasn't too fond of that part either...Chappy is not lesbian!  
><strong>Kon Kakkoii- <strong>There were making out sessions with stuffed animals? Why wasn't I invited? Can I come next time?  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>No way! Girls only, no perverted soft toys allowed!  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Wow...that sounds like one fucked up sleepover...I'm glad I didn't go...  
><em>Renji Abarai likes this<em>  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>It was fun! Except I felt sorry for my Nee-sama when he got home and realized we built a huge fort in his living room...  
><strong>Yachiru Kusajishi- <strong>Yeah! The candy storing fort!  
><strong>Byakuya Kuchiki- <strong>My favourite part was when you all left -_-

**Karin Kurosaki is now friends with Toshiro Hitsugaya  
><strong>_~Comments-  
><em>**Ichigo Kurosaki- **Wtf? How the hell do you two know each other?  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>Ichigo..I stayed at your house! God, you're an idiot.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Hmmm, just keep your hands to yourself around my sister  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>-_-

**Ichigo Kurosaki posted on Renji Abarai's wall-**_  
><em>**Ichigo Kurosaki- **So...you've changed your password again? Psshhh, I'll figure it out within a week.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Is that a challenge?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Hell yeah. What else would it be?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Hacking comp?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Right on target.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Okay then, first one to hack the other person's account wins. The winner gets to dare the loser. You in?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Meh...  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>What?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>That sounds boring...  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Well, you got a better idea genius?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Of course I do, I always have better ideas than you. I think we should have a competition to see who can hack the most people's accounts, including each other's.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Go on...  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Once you've hacked their account, you can put their status as anything you like but you have to write: RENJI WAS HERE at the end of it.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>What are you going to write at the end?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>ICHIGO WAS HERE. Yeesh, you're even thicker than you look, and that's really saying something.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Shut-up Carrot-top. Anyway, the dead line is in two weeks exactly, Winner get's to dare the loser to do anything...anything...  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>yeah, that's okay but I'm not doing anything like giving you nude pictures of myself Renji...No queer shit, right?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>The next time I see you. I'm going to punch you in the nose. I mean it.

**Rangiku Matsumoto posted on Momo Hinamori's wall-  
>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Momo! Since you didn't bring the videos of Taicho to the sleep over, you HAVE to send them to me via Facebook.  
><strong>Momo Hinamori- <strong>Umm, Rangiku-chan I don't think Shiro-chan wants anyone to see those videos of him...I think he's embarrassed...  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>And your point is...?  
><strong>Momo Hinamori- <strong>I'm not showing anyone the videos, Rangiku-chan.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Not even me?  
><strong>Momo Hinamori- <strong>Especially not you!  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Why are you being so stiff for? Usually you're all up for showing me embarrassing photos and videos of him, why the sudden change? Besides, I've already seen them once, I just want a copy on my laptop for black mail.  
><strong>Momo Hinamori- <strong>No reason...  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>OMG! He's got some dirt on you, doesn't he? He's black mailing you right?  
><strong>Momo Hinamori- <strong>No!  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>He so is! Spill!  
><strong>Momo Hinamori- <strong>He's not black mailing me.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>You can keep denying it Momo, but I'll find out how he's black mailing you...then I'll get a copy of the naked videos of Taicho myself!

**Orihime Inoue is now friends with Ulquiorra Cifer-  
><strong>_Orihime Inoue likes this  
>~Comments-<br>_**Ichigo Kurosaki- **Oh, so you'll accept her friend request but you won't accept mine? I love you too Ulquiorra.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Ichigo...you tried to kill each other...why did you send him a friend request?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Well, aside from the trying to kill each other thing, I thought we got along pretty well.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>o_O  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>Why would I accept trash as my friend? Obnoxious humans.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>You accepted Inoue as your friend!  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>Are you implying that Orihime Inoue is trash? That's no way to talk about your friends.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>I meant she's human, not trash. Anyway, I couldn't give a fuck if you ignore my friend request, you can shove it up your ass!  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>If you don't care, why are you still commenting?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Just...Just shut-up!

**Jushiro Utitake posted on Toshiro Hitsugaya's wall-  
>Jushiro Utitake- <strong>Hitsugaya-Taicho, did you receive the gift-basket of candy I sent to you for your half-birthday?  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>Utitake...I told you to stop buying me gifts...  
><strong>Jushiro Utitake- <strong>But it was your half-birthday...how could I have not bought you a gift? Did you get it?  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>Nobody celebrates their half-birthday! Even if it was my real birthday I wouldn't want a gift! But to answer your question, no, it hasn't arrived yet.  
><strong>Jushiro Utitake- <strong>Really? It hasn't arrived yet? I sent it about a week ago so it should've arrived by now.  
><strong>Yachiru Kusajishi- <strong>That's so strange, Ukki. You should try sending another one :)

**Rukia Kuchiki- **CHAPPY CAN SUCK MY BALLS.  
>Ichigo was here.<br>_Ichigo Kurosaki likes this  
>~Comments-<br>_**Ichigo Kurosaki- **Shame Renji, I'm winning! Rukia's password was so easy to guess. ILOVECHAPPY? Seriously Rukia, you could not get any more obvious.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>I'm going to murder you Ichigo. The when you become a Shinigami, I'll murder you again.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>I was going to hack her account but I knew she'd beat the shit out of me if I did. Haha, you're in deep shit Ichigo. Don't ever mess with Rukia's chappy obsession.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>I'm not scared of her.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>You should be.

**Rukia Kuchiki created a new photo album called 'Ichigo's black eye'-  
><strong>_Renji Abarai and Byakuya Kuchiki like this  
>~Comments-<br>_**Ichigo Kurosaki- **Okay...maybe now, I'm a little scared.  
><strong><br>****A/N: **Poor Ichigo, he's gonna get the shit beaten out of him by Rukia. Oh well, he's used to it.  
>Hope you guys liked the new people I added in and in the further chapters you'll find out how Toshiro's blackmailing Momo and who's going to win the hacking competition.<br>Who do you guys think would win the hacking comp? Ichigo's winning at the moment but that could easily change...Also, who do you think Ichigo and Renji should hack?  
>Review please :)<p> 


	3. Chapter 3: In your pants

A/N: Bonjour! Welcome to another chapter of Bleach hits facebook. Hopefully you all like this chapter and appreciate it because I wrote this while I'm supposed to be studying for exams :)  
>I've included more hacking and more characters in this story. I haven't included all the characters but trust me, they'll come!<br>Reviews are just lovely.

**Email: **OrangeShinigami277 hotmail. com **Password: **Notafuckingstrawberry

**-Welcome to Facebook-**

**News Feed-**

**Hiyori Sarugaki posted on Shinji Hirako's wall-  
><strong>Oi, Ass-wipe! Get your ass up off the computer and make me a sandwich!  
><em>Mashiro Kuna likes this<br>~Comments-  
><em>**Mashiro Kuna- **I feel like a sandwich too, make me one too please Shinji? Peanut butter with the crusts cut off, thanks :)  
><strong>Kensei Maguruma- <strong>You're both woman. You two should be the ones making us men sandwiches.  
><strong>Mashiro Kuna- <strong>Stupid Kensei, you're just jealous that we didn't ask you to make our sandwiches!  
><strong>Kensei Maguruma- <strong>Why the hell would I be jealous about that? I'm happy I don't have to make you a sandwich.  
><strong>Mashiro Kuna- <strong>If you're happy then why are you arguing with me?  
><strong>Kensei Maguruma- <strong>I'm not arguing with you.  
><strong>Mashiro Kuna- <strong>Yes you are.  
><strong>Kensei Maguruma- <strong>No I'm not.  
><strong>Mashiro Kuna- <strong>Then what are we doing now?  
><strong>Kensei Maguruma- <strong>We're not arguing! God! Even virtually, you're annoying!  
><strong>Mashiro Kuna- <strong>I know you are, I said you are, so what am I?  
><strong>Kensei Maguruma- <strong>What? That doesn't even make sense?  
><strong>Mashiro Kuna- <strong>YOU don't make sense!  
><strong>Kensei Maguruma- <strong>Arrrghhh! I wish you'd just grow up!

**Shinji Hirako- **I'm not making anyone sandwiches.

**Ulquiorra Cifer posted on Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez's wall-  
><strong>Are you the one that took my face paint? If I find out it was you I'm going to cero you into the ceiling.  
>~<em>Comments-<em>  
><strong>Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez- <strong>Why the fuck would I want to steal your pansy-ass make-up?  
>Charlotte probably stole it.<br>**Ulquiorra Cifer- **It's not make up, I don't wear woman's products...but you're right, I better check with Mr. Chuhlhourne. I caught him in Harribel's chamber the other day trying on her clothes. Not a pleasant experience.  
><strong>Grimmijow Jaegerjaquez- <strong>Call it whatever the hell you like, it's still make up. Haha! You caught Charlotte getting changed? I bet you were peeking on purpose.  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>It is not make-up! Besides, even if it was make up I wouldn't be alone. What about the green eye shadow you wear under your eyes? And NO. I was not peeking, I simply needed to deliver Ms. Harribel a message from Lord Aizen and there he was.  
><strong>Grimmijow Jaegerjaquez- <strong>That's not eye shadow! It's...face paint...  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>"Call it whatever the hell you like, it's still make up." –G. Jaegerjaquez  
><strong>Grimmijow Jaegerjaquez- <strong>Fuck you.

**Shinji Hirako- **I love you Hiyori! XOXO 8=D  
>Ichigo was here.<br>~_Comments-  
><em>**Hiyori Sarugaki- **WTF?  
><strong>Shinji Hirako- <strong>I didn't write this! I swear!  
><strong>Hiyori Sarugaki- <strong>But it says you wrote it! EW! By the way, what the hell is that 8=D thing supposed to be?  
><strong>Shinji Hirako-<strong>...It looks like a penis.  
><strong>Lisa Yadomaru-<strong>You idiots...Read the bottom of the post.  
><strong>Hiyori Sarugaki- <strong>I'M GONNA KILL THAT CARROT!  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Chill Hiyori, it was only a joke. By the way, the 8=D thing is supposed to be a sideways smiley face. But now that I think about it, it does look like a penis.  
><strong>Hiyori Sarugaki- <strong>A really small penis. It's what Shinji's one looks like.  
><strong>Shinji Hirako- <strong>(.) (.) That's what Hiyori's boobs look like.  
><strong>Lisa Yadomaru- <strong>I find it funny how Hiyori knows what Shinji's penis looks like and how Shinji knows what Hiyori's boobs look like.  
><em>Ichigo Kurosaki likes this<em>  
><strong>Hiyori Sarugaki- <strong>-_-  
><strong>Shinji Hirako- <strong>-_-

**Ichigo Kurosaki posted on Renji Abarai's wall-  
><strong>I'm winning 2-0. When are you gonna grow the balls (or the brains) to hack someone to make this game interresting?  
>~<em>Comments-<br>_**Renji Abarai- **I'm about to hack someone right now, I'm just trying to think of something to put as their facebook status. By the way, I have twenty times the amount of balls and brains as you.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Renji, you say you have twenty times the amount of balls and brains as Ichigo?  
>Twenty times zero equals zero.<br>**Ichigo Kurosaki- **Shut up Rukia. And Renji, don't feed me that bullshit, you haven't hacked anyone.

**Byakuya Kuchiki- **KENPACHI ZARAKI. GET IN MY PANTS.  
>Renji was here.<br>_Renji Abarai likes this  
>~Comments-<br>_**Renji Abarai- **Shame Ichigo, I'm catching up.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>I don't care. Do you wanna know why?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Why?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Because, you know how Rukia has a bad temper?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Yeah?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Byakuya's temper is worse. And on top of that, he's your captain.  
><strong>Byakuya Kuchiki- <strong>Renji. I'd like to see you in my office.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Oh Fuck.  
><em>Byakuya Kuchiki likes this<br>_**Yachiru Kusajishi- **Silly Bya-kun! Ken-chan doesn't wear pants.

**Kenpachi Zaraki posted on Byakuya Kuchiki's wall-  
><strong>Byakuya. I couldn't give a fuck what kind of sick-twisted fantasies of me you have in your mind but if you tell everyone about it on Facebook again, I'll chop you to pieces.  
><em>Ichigo Kurosaki likes this<br>_~_Comments-  
><em>**Byakuya Kuchiki- **First of all, my account was tampered with by my lieutenant. I was not the one who said such things. Also, even if I did happen to be attracted to males I am CERTAIN I would not want to 'get in your pants'. CERTAIN.  
><strong>Kenpachi Zaraki- <strong>Good. Although you should learn to keep your lieutenant under control. You're not gay? I thought you were gay...I mean, you look like a girl and your Zanpakuto's power is to throw around pink flowers...even you have to admit that's a bit pansy-ish.  
><strong>Byakuya Kuchiki- <strong>Me? Keep my lieutenant under control? What about your lieutenant who hosts slumber parties inside my mansion when I'm gone for the weekend? Also, I do not look like a girl and my Zanpakuto has the ability to wield cherry blossoms that are both sharper and faster than your Zanpakuto's blade. How could you think I was gay, I was married before!  
><strong>Kenpachi Zaraki- <strong>Meh...I call 'em as I see 'em.

**Rangiku Matsumoto posted on Momo Hinamori's wall-  
><strong>Wanna go out for drinks tonight? We can both bitch about the white-haired-devil-captain together.  
>~<em>Comments-<em>  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>-_-  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Taicho! I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about...the other white haired captain!  
><strong>Jushiro Utitake- <strong>:(  
><strong>Kiyone Kotetsu- <strong>Don't be upset Taicho! I'm sure they aren't talking about you, they're talking about Gin Ichimaru. Isn't that right Rangiku-fuko-taicho?  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Yes, that's right, I'm talking about Gin!  
><strong>Momo Hinamori- <strong>But Rangiku-san, we never talk about Gin when we drink.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>*face palm

**Rukia Kuchiki posted on Ichigo Kurosaki's wall-  
><strong>This is a true story. **  
><strong>There was once a young girl called Robyn Miller who died in the hospital over hundreds of years ago. She died during heart surgery after the doctors failed to fix her heart up properly. She was buried with half of her heart missing and now she roams around the earth in search of the missing half of her heart. If you don't post this to another friend's wall then you Robyn will come after your heart, ripping it out of your chest before slicing it in half and implanting it into her own.  
>~<em>Comments-<br>_**Rukia Kuchiki- **Ichigo! This girl needs a soul burial performed on her!  
>I posted it onto your wall so she would come after you and you could perform it!<br>**Ichigo Kurosaki- **Rukia, why did you spam my wall with this bull shit?  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>What do you mean? Let's help Robyn go to soul society, she's stuck roaming the earth!  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Rukia, it's a chain letter. Robyn Miller doesn't exist.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>It says it's a true story!  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>It lied, that's what chain letters do.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Oh...

**Rukia Kuchiki posted on Ichigo Kurosaki's wall-  
><strong>This is a true story, seriously.  
>Abigail Logans was only five years old when...<p>

**A/N: **So did you like this chapter? I'm starting to add more characters in as the story progresses.  
>Sorry if I didn't include the characters you wanted in this chapter but those characters will definitely come in, in the other chapters. :)<br>The last bit with Rukia and the chain mails was a bit random but I felt like putting it in there because I hate chain mail.  
>Also, the bit where Ichigo hacks Shinji's account. The penis is supposed to look like those hearts that have the sideways V shaped thing then a 3.<br>However, fanfic net wont let be put those in so I had to change it. I don't know why but those hearts have always looked like penises to me and trust me, I'm not the perverted type.  
>Anyway, review please!<br>Keep the suggestions coming, I love them and I'll probably end up using all of them :)

__

__

****


	4. Chapter 4: The divorce

**A/N: **Hey! Thanks for all the reviews that I got on the last chapter, and thanks for your suggestions too! I'm getting around to using all of them and I'll slot your ideas in when they fit.  
>It seems I got a few requests for more pairing action, eg. RenRuki and HitsuKarin.<br>I'll admit that I'm more of a HitsuHina fan rather than a HitsuKarin fan but since I love my reviewers then I suppose I'll add some more HitsuKarin later on ^_^  
>There's a bit of RenRuki is this fic and thanks to the person who asked for more RenRuki-ish stuff because I didn't intend for this fic to end up totally IchiRuki.<br>To tell the truth, this fic will probably end up with most pairings except the real crack pairings.  
>Oh yeah and I changed my username because I've started doing less Naruto fics..I still love Naruto to bits though! I chose LollyRabbit because it kinda reminds me of Yachiru's candy obsession and Rukia's chappy obsesson combined.<br>Hope ya like this chapter!

**Disclaimer- **I don't own Bleach. Havoc would be wreaked upon soul society if I did.

* * *

><p><strong>Email: <strong>OrangeShinigami277 hotmail. com **Password: **Notafuckingstrawberry

**-Welcome to Facebook-**

News Feed-

Soi Fon is now married to Kisuke Uruhara-

_Renji Abarai, Yoruichi Shihoin and Kisuke Uruhara like this  
>~Comments-<br>_**Soi Fon- **Renji was here.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Renji, the rules were you had to post up a facebook status. Not make them marry someone. Although, they do make a good couple.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Whatever, there's proof I hacked her account, so there.  
><strong>Yoruichi Shihoin- <strong>BAHAHAHAHA! This is gold!  
><strong>Kisuke Uruhara- <strong>I wasn't expecting her to propose to me, but when she asked to marry her I just couldn't refuse.  
><strong>Soi Fon- <strong>Are you responsible for this Abarai? I'm going to slice your testicles off, then staple them to your forehead if you don't undo this! How the hell do you get a divorce on Facebook?  
>I can't believe I'm married to the most disgusting excuse for a Shinigami.<br>**Kisuke Uruhara- **What? I never said I wanted a divorce. No wonder our marriage is falling apart, you keep making our decisions by yourself.  
><strong>Soi Fon- <strong>Shut-up, I never wanted to get married to you in the first place. Also, the only good thing about you being married to me on facebook is that you're not married to Yoruichi-sama!  
>I still can't believe she accepted your request to marry her.<br>**Yoruichi Shihoin- **Oh yeah Kisuke, you were married to me before! How dare you cheat on me with one of my ex-students!  
><strong>Kisuke Uruhara- <strong>It seems we've been caught out Soi Fon. We should elope away to Italy.  
><strong>Soi Fon- <strong>-_- Abarai! Come back onto my account and UNDO THIS! :(  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>No can do.  
><strong>Byakuya Kuchiki-<strong> You're all so childish. Why would you marry someone on facebook if you weren't married in real life?  
><strong>Yoruichi Shihoin- <strong>Be quiet Byakuya-bo, you're such a buzz kill as always.  
><strong>Soi Fon- <strong>I hate all of you...  
><strong>Soi Fon- <strong>Except Yoruichi-sama. I could never hate her.  
><strong>Kisuke Uruhara- <strong>You should marry her then.  
><strong><br>Rangiku Matsumoto posted on Shuhei Hisagi's wall-  
><strong>Hey, Hisagi! Wanna hit the bar tonight? I'll let you buy me drinks again ;)  
><em>~Comments-<br>_**Shuhei Hisagi- **Really? Okay, I'll pick you up at eight.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Cool.  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>Don't fall for it, Hisagi. She's only using you to buy drinks because she spent all her pay on lip gloss.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Not just lip gloss! I bought a new bra too, and I had to get it specially made which cost extra!  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>I'm sure you didn't have to get it specially made, you're just making up excuses. If you don't start spending your money on necessities then I'll dock your pay.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>I do have to get my bras specially made because they don't sell them big enough in the soul society stores! Besides, you can't dock my pay, I can spend it on whatever I want.  
><strong>Shuhei Hisagi- <strong>Don't worry Hitsugaya-Taicho, I don't mind buying Rangiku-san drinks.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>See Taicho! He doesn't mind.  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>As the captain of the tenth squad I order you, Hisagi not to buy Matsumoto-fuko-taicho any alcohol.  
><strong>Shuhei Hisagi- <strong>Well, I guess orders are orders...sorry Rangiku-san.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Why do have to be such a kill joy?  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>Someone has to be...also, it's revenge for throwing me into the ball pit at that fast food joint while we in the human world.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Oh yeah, and the lady working there made you wait at the ball pit until your 'Mummy' come and got you!  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>Shut-up.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Taicho! Can you please give Hisagi permission to buy me drinks! I'm dying for some sake!  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>No, I told you this is revenge.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>You're so mean!  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>I know.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Fine! I don't care, I'll just ask Renji or Kira to buy me drinks! And if they don't I'll just go to the bar and ask the bartender for some!  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>Why would they want to buy drinks for you? I understand Hisagi buying drinks for because he obviously harbours a ridiculous crush on you, but why Renji and Kira?  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Guys like buying drinks for me.  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>Why?  
><strong>Izuru Kira- <strong>Rangiku-san has a very sweet personality, that's why so many people like buying her things.  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya-<strong>...She's not sweet...How is Matsumoto sweet?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Haha, sure Kira. That's exactly why you buy Matsumoto drinks. It has absolutely nothing to do with her mountain-sized boobs.  
><strong>Izura Kira- <strong>Not all men are as perverted as you, Abarai-san. You're the one who stares at Matsumoto-san's chest while you're talking to her.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>I don't stare at her boobs...Her boobs stare at my eyes.

**Rukia Kuchiki posted on Ichigo Kurosaki's wall-  
><strong>Ichigo, I need a favour from you! Accept my invitation to join pet society, so I can collect 2,000 coins.  
><em>Yachiru Kusajishi and Yoruichi Shihoin like this<br>~Comments-  
><em>**Ichigo Kurosaki- **No. That game's for pansies.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Please! It's not for pansies, Renji plays it.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>My point exactly.  
><strong>Renji Abarai-<strong>Screw you.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>But really need those coins to buy bunny slippers for Chappy!  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Who's Chappy?  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Baka! Chappy is my pet's name. It's so cute ,it looks exactly like the real Chappy.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Well, 'Chappy' will just have to live with cold feet because there's no way that I'm playing that game.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>All you have to do is join! You don't have to do anything else!  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Yeah, but when I join everyone will think that I play 'pet society'. It'll ruin my reputation.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>You're a lousy facebook husband.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>It's not like I even wanted to marry you in the first place.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Well, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be a good husband. Maybe I should fine a husband that would do small things like this for me, because you obviously don't care.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Maybe you should.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Maybe I will.

**Rukia Kuchiki and Ichigo Kurosaki went from being married to being single.  
><strong>_Byakuya Kuchiki likes this_

Rukia Kuchiki is now married to Renji Abarai-

_Renji Abarai, Kisuke Uruhara, Yachiru Kusajishi and 17 others like this.  
>~Comments-<br>_**Yoruichi Shihoin- **Nice one Rukia, way to bounce back. That carrot must be steaming now. Ha! That's what he gets for not responding to our Pet Society requests!  
><em>Rukia Kuchiki likes this<em>  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Yes. I can't have a husband that doesn't play pet society. That just won't do.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Shame Ichigo. I stole your wife.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>I don't care. You can have her!  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>How does it feel to be single? Are you feeling lonely yet, Ichigo?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>It's facebook, Renji, not real life.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>You say that, but I know you're lonely. And do you know what the sad thing is? You won't be able to find another wife.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>I could find a wife if I wanted to. Easy, peasy.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>We'll see about that.

**Mayuri Kurotsuchi posted on Kenpachi Zaraki's wall-  
><strong>Your pink brat came into my lab today and tipped over my experiment shelf, destroying a whole weeks worth of research. I've resorted to holding her hostage in one of my specimen-cages until you come to collect her and give me the money to pay for all the supplies she broke and for all the trouble I went through to catch her and trap her. She will be kept inside the cage until my demands are met.  
>That is all. <strong><br>Kenpachi Zaraki- **What the hell are you talking about? I can see Madarame outside chasing Yachiru around trying to get his Zanpakuto back.  
><strong>Mayuri Kurotsuchi- <strong>What? Wait a sec...  
><strong>Mayuri Kurotsuchi- <strong>The cage is empty...she got out! NEMU!  
><strong>Nemu Kurotsuchi- <strong>Yes, Mayuri-sama?  
><strong>Mayuri Kurotsuchi- <strong>Did you allow that pink brat to escape from her cage?  
><strong>Nemu Kurotsuchi- <strong>Yes, I did. She is the president, therefore I must follow her orders.  
><strong>Mayuri Kurotsuchi- <strong>Listen, Nemu. You only follow my orders, I'm your creator and if you disobey me ever again I'm going to confiscate one of your lungs.  
><strong>Kenpachi Zaraki- <strong>Who the hell do you think you are to keep my lieutenant in a cage? Let's fight, meet me at the squad 11 training grounds so I can slice you to pieces.  
><strong>Mayuri Kurotsuchi- <strong>I don't have time to entertain imbeciles looking for excuses to start fights, I have a week's worth of research to catch up on thanks to that pink vermin of yours. I suggest that you invest in a leash otherwise next time I'll use her as a lab rat.  
><strong>Kenpachi Zaraki- <strong>If you're so angry, fight me, you fucking pansy.  
><strong>Byakuya Kuchiki- <strong>Kurotsuchi-Taicho, would I be able to purchase one of those cages of yours? I only need one the size of Kusajishi-fuko-taicho.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Byakuya is so mean to Yachiru, Yachiru's crush on Bya-kun is so cute though!  
>Also, keep the suggestions coming!<br>This week I used:  
>SilverShinigami49 and Hyouton Inuki's suggestions.<br>Don't worry, I will get around to using all your suggestions! I would've added more but I wanted some of my stuff in there too ^_^  
>In the next chapter Ichigo's going to marry someone on Facebook...<br>Can you guess who it is? If you guess right, I'll reply back and tell you that you got it right.  
>If you don't want it to be spoiled then you can say your guess anyway but say that you'll wait til the next chapter to see if you guessed right. It might be hard to guess because Ichigo has soooo many pairings. It could be anyone!<br>In the next chapter I'll add more hacking and more Orihime because the poor girl might be feeling left out by now.  
>Don't forget to click the review button and give me suggestions and feedback. Feedback is always good! :)<p> 


	5. Chapter 5: Kitty

**A/N: **HEY!  
>Are you guys looking forward to this chapter? I'm sure you'll enjoy this one, there's more espada, hacking and facebook-marrying in it, which you all seem to enjoy. I've also included more Unohana action and I've included Pesche and Dondochakka for a brief moment, they'll have more action later on though.<br>About the pairings, as **Natsuzora** asked me, there definitely will not be any actual pairings in this.  
>I'm sorry if some people thought it to be a different way but by pairings I meant like interacting with each other more. Eg. Renji getting married to Rukia to make Ichigo jealous, that was my idea of RenRuki. There wont be anything loveydovey whatsoever in this fanfic.<br>Also, thanks for giving me so many reviews! I'm already up to 72 on the fourth chapter! Keep reviewing, I love you all.

Disclaimer: Tite Kubo owns bleach, not me.  
><strong><br>Email: **OrangeShinigami277 hotmail. com **Password: **Notafuckingstrawberry

**-Welcome to Facebook-**

**News Feed-  
>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>Grimmjow is a sex kitten. Reow.  
>Ichigo was here.<br>_Tier Harribel, Nnoitra Gilga, Gin Ichimaru and 29 others like this  
>~Comments-<br>_**Gin Ichimaru- **Go get 'em tiger!  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>-_- How childish. Kurosaki, take your immature mannerisms elsewhere because they are not needed on my page.  
><strong>Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez- <strong>What the fuck is wrong with you? I'm a fucking panther! Not a kitten! A panther! Get it right next time, shithead. Also, I'm flattered that you think of me that way but sorry, I don't like flat-chested emo girls.  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>I am quite certain that I am not female.  
><strong>Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez- <strong>Are you sure? Cause the girls haircut and the eye makeup isn't helping your case.  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>I am a male. Even ask lord Aizen.  
><strong>Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez- <strong>O_O...you mean...you and Aizen are like that?... No wonder why your room is bigger than mine!  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>No! I do not have a sexual or romantic relationship with Aizen! He is my creator. That is how he would know if I was male...not other sick reasons you obnoxious idiot.  
><strong>Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez- <strong>Oh, that makes sense because you'd never be able to score with Aizen. You might be able to score a Nnoitra though, he's more within your league.  
><strong>Orihime Inoue- <strong>Ulquiorra-kun definitely is male!  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>Go away woman, your input will only make things worse.  
><strong>Orihime Inoue- <strong>What do you mean?  
><strong>Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez- <strong>So you and the woman are like that? I didn't peg you to be lesbian.  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>^ That's what I meant.

**Ichigo Kurosaki is now married to ****Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck****-  
><strong>_Dondochakka Birstanne, Pesche Guatiche, Uryu Ishida and 27 others like this  
>~Comments-<br>_**Ichigo Kurosaki- **Shame Renji. I told you I could get a wife.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Dude...Isn't Nel a kid? That's a bit pedo-ish, don't you think?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Nel, isn't a kid, she's in her adult form now so it's not pedo-ish.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Still...o_O  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Shut-up Renji, you're just jealous because my wife has bigger boobs than yours.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>You're just jealous because my wife isn't a little kid.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>In the human world, Rukia has been mistaken for a little kid almost as much as Toshiro has.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Well...my wife could kick your wife's ass.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Rukia's more aggressive than Nel, but Nel can be badass when she wants to.  
><strong>Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck- <strong>Yay! I always wanted a facebook husband and now I have Itsugo, I mean, Ichigo and he's the perfect facebook husband :D  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>^ && she appreciates me. Does Rukia appreciate you?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>...  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>That's what I thought.  
><strong>Dondochakka Birstanne- <strong>Congratulations Nel-sama!  
><strong>Pesche Guatiche- <strong>I'm so happy for you Nel-sama! If Ichigo is mean to you though, don't hesitate to ask me, Dondochakka and Bawabawa to beat him up for you.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Sure.

**Gin Ichimaru uploaded 105 new photos to the album 'Tosen's birthday party'**  
><em>Sosuke Aizen, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, Nnoitra Gilga and 17 others like this<br>~Comments- __**  
><strong>_**Nnoitra Gilga- **That was fucking wicked, especially when the stripper came.  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>I'm glad someone appreciated her. Tosen sliced her in half...well at least I had a back-up plan.  
><strong>Nnoitra Gilga- <strong>Yeah, he could've waited 'til after the party, her tits were just as big as Harribel's. Ugh, I hated your back-up plan. I can't believe you asked _Charlotte_ to do a strip tease for Tosen! You should've asked Harribel or one of her fraccion but Charlotte? It was the only time I actually envied Tosen for being blind.  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>Don't be like that.  
><strong>Kaname Tosen- <strong>Strippers go against justice. I didn't even want a birthday party. If you pull a stunt like this again, Ichimaru, I will report it to lord Aizen.  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>I already told Aizen. And guess what? He laughed.  
><strong>Kaname Tosen- <strong>Then I'll gouge your eyeballs out then force feed them down your throat. Then I'll laugh when people make blind jokes about you.  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>You wouldn't be able to do that because then I'd borrow 'Stimulative' (If ya know what I mean) drugs from Szayel, the feed them to Charlotte, then lock Charlotte in your room while you're sleeping (Not that I'd know if you were actually sleeping)  
><strong>Kaname Tosen- <strong>-_- You wouldn't.  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>Trust me, he would. And you do not want to go there. Ever. It'll be one of the most traumatic experiences of your life...Not that I would know.  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>Man, I love you guys :)

**Retsu Unohana posted on Mayuri Kurotsuchi wall-  
><strong>Kurotsuchi-taicho, I would like to request that you restrain yourself from experimenting on any more squad eleven members. I turned a blind eye for the past few weeks in respect for your love of research but I've decided that sewing a man's arm to his stomach is crossing the line.  
>~<em>Comments-<br>_**Mayuri Kurotsuchi- **All of my subjects participate in my experiments voluntarily so I do not see the problem here. Also, I'm sensing that your worries aren't centred around the wellbeing of the squad eleven members but maybe something else...maybe you're jealous that I'm closer to developing faster bone fracture healing techniques then you will ever be.  
><strong>Kenpachi Zaraki- <strong>It doesn't matter if my squad members get injured, as long as they can still hold a sword.  
><strong>Retsu Unohana- <strong>This has nothing to do with our non-existent rivalry. It is about the wellbeing of my patients and my squad. My squad doesn't have time to heal your subjects and I highly doubt that they were your subjects voluntarily.  
><strong>Mayuri Kurotsuchi- <strong>Well, maybe they didn't volunteer but who cares? If you want to stop me, come over here and MAKE me.  
><strong>Retsu Unohana- <strong>Okay then, I'll be over there in a jiff.  
><strong>Mayuri Kurotsuchi- <strong>...I'm not scared of you.  
><strong>Kenpachi Zaraki- <strong>Really? You should be. If I were a pansy like you then I'd be scared.  
><strong>Mayuri Kurotsuchi- <strong>Shut-up, you obnoxious moron.  
><strong>Kenpachi Zaraki- <strong>Obnoxious is a word that a pansy would use.  
><strong>Mayuri Kurotsuchi- <strong>Just because you don't know what it means...Crap, Unohana's offline...NEMU!  
><strong>Nemu Kurotsuchi- <strong>Yes, Mayuri-sama?  
><strong>Mayuri Kurotsuchi- <strong>Where are you? Get back to the lab and help me barricade the door.  
><strong>Nemu Kurotsuchi- <strong>I can't do that at the moment, I'm helping Nanao-san control everyone at the Shinigami's woman's association meeting because Unohana-taicho just left for some reason. Actually, I think she was heading over to the squad twelve lab, you could ask her to help you barricade the door, I'm sure she'd help you.  
><strong>Mayuri Kurotsuchi- <strong>Nemu! I order you to abandon that useless meeting and come here right away   
><strong>Nemu Kurotsuchi- <strong>Mayuri-sama? 

**Nanao Ise- **Do ANY of the lieutenants want to swap captains from me? I don't mind, just ANY other captain will do! Except for squad twelve...  
><em>Rangiku Matsumoto likes this<br>~Comments-  
><em>**Rangiku Matsumoto- **Shunsui's your lieutenant, right? I'll swap!  
><strong>Nemu Kurotsuchi- <strong>Since Mayuri-sama's elbows at sewed to his forehead at this moment, I will be commenting on this post on his behalf. Mayuri-sama says: "I wouldn't want you as my lieutenant anyway."  
><strong>Nanao Ise- <strong>I didn't mean to offend Kurotsuchi-taicho in anyway, also why does he have his elbows sewed to his forehead? Okay then Rangiku-san let's swap lieutenants. I'd much rather have Hitsugaya-taicho as my lieutenant than Kyoraku-taicho. He's lazy and perverted and I'm done with it.  
><strong>Nemu Kurotsuchi- <strong>How do you delete comments? It seems I have made a mistake because Mayuri-sama does not want anyone to know he has his elbows sewed to his forehead.  
><strong>Shunsui Kyoraku- <strong>Nanao-chan? What is this? I thought we were best friends! I don't want another lieutenant!  
><strong>Nanao Ise- <strong>I'm not sure how to delete comments, this is a human website after all. Go away Kyoraku-taicho, I'm tired of organizing your paper work, cleaning your filthy office and dragging your unconscious sake-wreaking body to squad four. Which is why I'm resigning as your lieutenant. Besides, why are you upset, you'll have Rangiku-san as your lieutenant.  
><strong>Shunsui Kyoraku- <strong>Rangiku-chan is quite lovely...maybe this won't be so bad.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>All I have to do is convince my captain to let me go to squad 8. Although I'm not sure if he'll let me go, he might need me to stay in the tenth squad or he might miss me too much..  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>Where do I sign?  
><strong>Retsu Unohana- <strong>Nemu-chan, to delete comments in the top right hand corner of your comment box there should be an X. Click it to remove the comment. After all, we wouldn't want the COMPLETELY FALSE AND NON-EXISTENT 'elbow to forehead' incident to leak out onto the is website, would we?  
><strong>Nemu Kurotsuchi- <strong>Thank you Unohana-taicho. Also, Mayuri-sama says: "You don't have to worry about experimentations on members of squad eleven anymore."  
><strong>Retsu Unohana- <strong>How sweet of him.

**A/N: **Congrats to all of you that guessed Nel! But that's not really the end of the marriage-saga, I want to make Ichigo marry someone else (MANSLUT), who do you think he should marry?  
>I liked a lot of your guesses, like: Yoruichi, Rangiku, Orihime and others too.<br>Vote within your reviews and give your reasons!  
>Also, give me more hacking ideas, i'm kinda running out a bit!<p>

**  
><strong>

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	6. Chapter 6: Candy

**A/N: **Yo! I'm back. Did you all miss me? I'm so happy because this story has reached ninety reviews! Which is a pretty big achievement for me! ^_^ A huge thanks to all the reviewers! Sorry, I've been out for a while doing exams and stuff, you know the drill. This weeks chapter is pretty short and I know I said Ichigo would marry someone else in this chapter, I thought that might be a bit fast for a divorce so yeah.  
>Warning: This chapter contains slightly disturbing content.<br>It's not that bad, but yeah, a warning's always nice aint it? **  
>Email: <strong>OrangeShinigami277 hotmail. com **Password: **Notafuckingstrawberry

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><p><strong>-Welcome to Facebook-<strong>

News Feed-

Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck posted on Ichigo Kurosaki's wall-

Ichigo! Why didn't you answer my phone calls? I miss you, it's not the same without you in Hueco Mundo :( When are you going to come home to your wife?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Nel...We're not actually married...You do realise that, don't you?  
><strong>Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck- <strong>:O So, you've already divorced me? Without telling me? Ichigo! How could you?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>No, no! We're still facebook married!  
><strong>Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck- <strong>Ichigo...do you love me?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Wtf? No! I mean, not in that way! I treasure you as a friend!  
><strong>Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck- <strong>I looked up marriages on the googley and it said that two people have to love each other to get married.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Nel, Facebook marriage is different. There is no commitment whatsoever involved. It's only for fun. Oh, and by googley did you mean Google?  
><strong>Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck- <strong>Oh, I get it now! Friends can get married too! So, Ichigo...Where's my ring?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>*Sigh*

**Hisagi Shuhei posted on Izuru Kira's wall-  
><strong>Hey, Izuru, wanna come over to my place later? We could do things...With the tattoo on my cheek as inspiration...  
>Renji was here.<br>_Renji Abarai likes this-  
>~Comments-<br>_**Izuru Kira- **Ummm...Hisagi-san...I never knew you felt that way towards me..I feel a bit sick so I can't come over. It might last a while and I don't want you to catch it. So don't come near me ever again, otherwise I might give you my sickness.  
><strong>Hisagi Shuhei- <strong>I was hacked Izuru. Nice Renji, it's nice to know you think my tattoo's a joke as well :/  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Don't be like that Hisagi, it was only a prank. On the bright side, your tattoo does get you lots of girls.  
><strong>Hisagi Shuhei- <strong>Yeah, but it also gets a lot of MALE shinigami coming up to me and asking if my tattoo is an invitation. I was thinking of getting it removed but Unohana-taicho told me I shouldn't get it removed just because a few old perverts or nasty shinigami have given me grief about it.  
><strong>Kensei Muguruma- <strong>If I ever find the fucktard that made up that 69 thing, I'll beat the shit out of them.  
><strong>Mashiro Kuna- <strong>You're a liar, Kensei. You only got that tattoo on your stomach because you're a big pervert! Kensei's a pervert!  
><strong>Kensei Muguruma- <strong>Shut up Mashiro, why do you have to comment on everything I comment on?  
><strong>Mashiro Kuna- <strong>Because it's fun!  
><strong>Kensei Muguruma- <strong>-_-  
><strong>Yachiru Kusajishi- <strong>What does 69 mean? Why does everyone make fun of Hisa-Hisa for it?  
><strong>Izuru Kira- <strong>Um, maybe you should ask your captain about that?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Are you an idiot Izuru? He'll slaughter us!  
><strong>Yachiru Kusajishi- <strong>Tell me what it means!  
><strong>Hisagi Shuhei- <strong>Umm...  
><strong>Izuru Kira- <strong>Well, it kinda means...like, if two people...well...  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>It means you want to eat candy with someone, Hisagi gets teased because he never has candy on him and that's really embarrassing for him. I mean, who has tattoo that says you want to eat candy with someone when you don't actually have candy?  
><strong>Izuru Kira- <strong>Yeah..that's it!  
><strong>Yachiru Kusajishi- <strong>Oh! I get it! Silly Hisa-Hisa! So many people must have been disappointed when Hisa-Hisa turned them away!  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Yeah, I'm sure they reeeaaallly disappointed when they found out they couldn't do 69 with him.  
><strong>Hisagi Shuhei- <strong>Shut-up, Abarai!  
><strong>Yachiru Kusajishi- <strong>Thanks Pineapple-chan ^_^

**Yachiru Kusajishi posted on Byakuya Kuchiki's wall- **I'm out of candy and I'm really hungry! Can you unblock the tunnels in your mansion so we can 69?  
>~<em>Comments-<br>_**Ichigo Kurosaki- **Wtf?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Fuck! Delete this, Yachiru! Delete it right now before your captain sees it!  
><strong>Yachiru Kusajishi-<strong>Why? I wanna 69 with Bya-kun! :( He has the best candy!  
><strong>Byakuya Kuchiki- <strong>NO.  
><strong>Kenpachi Zaraki- <strong>WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS KUCHIKI? YOU USED TO BE GAY AND NOW YOU'RE A PEDOAPHILE? IF YOU TOUCH YACHIRU I'LL YANK OUT YOUR INNARDS AND USE THEM TO HANG YOU!  
><strong>Yachiru Kusajishi- <strong>What's the matter Ken-chan? It's just 69, I do it with everyone, everyone loves 69!  
><strong>Byakuya Kuchiki- <strong>Abarai, you seem to be the cause of this. Deal with Zaraki or I'm taking away your desk and making you sit on the floor and do your paperwork. I'm staying out of this one.  
><strong>Kenpachi Zaraki- <strong>Kuchiki! Don't you dare log off! Log back on dammit! I know you haven't really logged off, you just turned off your chat you sneaky bastard! Explain yourself!  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>This isn't Kuchiki-Taicho's fault...Yachiru got told that 69 meant that you want to eat candy with someone...  
><strong>Kenpachi Zaraki- <strong>What fucking idiot told her that?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Umm...it was Ichigo..  
><strong>Kenpachi Zaraki- <strong>Right, I'm gonna throw that strawberry into a fucking blender!  
><strong>Yachiru Kusajishi- <strong>So..if 69 doesn't mean you want to eat candy with someone...what does it mean?

**Rangiku Matsumoto- **WOOOOO! Im gnnaa drinkk ttill i drooppp!~  
>~<em>Comments-<br>_**Nanao Ise- **Umm, Rangiku-san, are you alright?  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>YEEAaaH! Off corrse Imm alrigght! Sdis  
><strong>Nanao Ise- <strong>What's Kyoraku-sama doing? He should be PREVENTING you from getting this drunk.  
><strong>Shunsui Kyoraku- <strong>Dntt be sucjj a buzz killll Nanao! Hahahaha buzzzzz...  
><strong>Nanao Ise- <strong>Oh isn't fantastic. You're both completely wasted! There's an important captain and lieutenants meeting tomorrow! Hold on, I'm calling Unohana and Hitsugaya-taicho to stop you two from drinking yourselves dead.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>NooOOOO! Dontt call chibi-taichoo! He'll ice me piecess! LOL, geddit? ICE,, SLICE!  
><strong>Shunsui Kyoraku- <strong>Youu sooo funny Rangiku-san!  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>-_- Matsumoto! You better be sober by the time I get over there!

**Nnoitra Gilga- **I have a vagina.  
>Ichigo was here.<br>_Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, Ulquiorra Cifer, Gin Ichimaru and 72 others like this  
>~Comments-<br>_**Tier Harribel- **You wish.  
><em>12 people like this<br>_**Gin Ichimaru- **I was always wondering. Now I'm really glad I didn't peep on you through the security cameras in the shower, finding out through face book is a lot safer for my eyes.  
><strong>Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez- <strong>^What eyes?  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>I thought Tosen was the only one we made eye-jokes about.  
><strong>Kaname Tosen- <strong>-_-  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>Tosen, are you making fun of Gin too? Oh and Nnoitra, I'm sure we were all aware that you had female genitals. It's old news.  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>Shut-up Tosen, at least I have eyes! This is what your face looks like: _ You don't even have the slits!  
><strong>Nnoitra Gilga- <strong>Kurosaki. I am going to castrate you.

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><p><strong>AN: **Like it? Hope you did! Updates will probably be more frequent now!  
>Reviews and suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated.<br>Tell me who should be hacked, who should marry who and even some plot suggestions would be nice :)


	7. Chapter 7: I want a lightsaber

**A/N: **Hellloooo readers! Yup, that's right, I'm back with another chapter :D  
>I am sooooo sorry for taking such a long time to update. Since it's the holidays for me I thought it would be easier to update but I've been really busy going to the beach and enjoying the sun and the freedom.<br>First of all, I'd like to thank all my reviewers. Seriously. You guys are freaking amazing.  
>Last time I updated, this story was at ninety reviews. Now it's at 129! That's almost forty reviews! Shit! I love you all. You give me reviews even though I've been irresponsible and haven't been updating as frequently as I should be.<br>I'm glad you guys liked the sixty nine thing and weren't all 'Ewww, that's so gross!'. Even though that was slightly disturbing, most of you found it funny. I'm also happy you liked Gin's eye comment. Gin is probably my favourite to write about because he's mischief and mean.

Anyway, in this chapter I've used one of Hotaruhara's suggestions. A big thanks to her for all her fantastic suggestions and they will be used throughout this story.  
>I'm also going through all the reviews and writing down all the other suggestions from my other reviewers and I'm going to try put in as many as I can!<br>Every single one of your suggestions and feedback has been EXCELLENT and I am so happy so many of you like this story :)

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><p>Email:OrangeShinigami277 hotmail. com <strong>Password: <strong>Notafuckingstrawberry

**-Welcome to Facebook-  
>New Feed-<br>Ichigo Kurosaki posted on Renji Abarai's wall-  
><strong>Renji you're so boring. Hack someone interesting please, I mean, Hisagi? Seriously?  
><em>~Comments-<em>  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>What the hell are you talking about? I hacked Soi-Fon Taicho! She's scary as fuck!  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>All the people I hacked could potentially kill me, a lot of them actually attempted to. Soi Fon didn't give you a black eye, did she?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Haha, Rukia still has those photos up on her page, ouch. Nah, she was too busy beating up Uruhara even though it wasn't his fault. Anyway, what does it matter how daring my hacks are? It's just means I'm smart enough to avoid getting hurt, unlike some thick-headed carrots I know.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Why don't you try growing some balls and do an interesting hack for once? Or are you too scared?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Scared? I survived the wrath of my captain when I got him the wrong brand of conditioner from the store, I'm not afraid of anything.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Impress me then.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>I don't have anything to prove to you, I couldn't give two cow shits what you think of me.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>That's exactly what a pansy would say  
><strong>Reni Abarai- <strong>-_-

**Szayel Aporro Granz is now married to Mayuri Kurotsuchi-  
><strong>_Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez, Ulquiorra Cifer, Gin Ichimaru and 43 others like this  
><em>~_Comments-_  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Renji was here. Heh! Who's the pansy now, carrot-shit?  
><strong>Szayel Aporro Granz- <strong>Ha! Take that Kurotsuchi, you're my slave now! It seems fitting that such an inferior being such as you be a slave to someone as perfect as I am.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Dude...do you even know what it means to be married to someone?  
><strong>Szayel Aporro Granz- <strong>Of course I do you insolent fool, I know everything. I asked Ichimaru when Kurotsuchi sent me the request and he told me that if someone asked to marry you, it meant they wanted to become your slave. Of course he was hacked so he has no idea that he's just committed to serve me for the rest of his life!  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>I don't know how to tell you this but...  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>There's no need for you to butt in, Abarai-fuko-taicho :)  
><strong>Nemu Kurotsuchi- <strong>Mayuri-sama? I never knew...you had such tastes...  
><strong>Mayuri Kurotsuchi- <strong>You wretched leech. I'll get you for this Abarai.

**Rangiku Matsumoto added 167 photos to her album 'Ugly.'  
><strong>_Rukia Kuchiki, Yumichika Ayasegawa, Orihime Inoue and 63 others like this  
>~Comments-<br>_**Rangiku Matsumoto- **Ugh. I look horrible.  
><strong>Orihime Inoue- <strong>Don't say that Rangiku-chan, you're one of the most gorgeous people I know! :D  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>That's probably true...  
><strong>Orihime Inoue- <strong>It is!  
><strong>Yumichika Ayasegawa-<strong>Beautiful.  
><strong>Yoruichi Shihoin- <strong>What are ya talking about Rangiku? We're the two sexiest women in Soul Society!  
><strong>Momo Hinamori- <strong>Rangiku-san! Don't be so hard on yourself! I wish I looked like you!  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>Ne, my Ran-chan's a stunner.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Ummm, Gin. Why are you commenting? You betrayed Rangiku...  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>Did I?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Yeah, you kinda did.  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>I would never do such a thing to Rangiku.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>But you did.  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>No I didn't.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Yes, you did.  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>Kami, you don't even know what happens in your own show.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Show? What show?  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>Never mind.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Dammit Gin! Tell me!  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>You're all idiots. Matsumoto is the vainest person I know. Obviously she only titled the album 'ugly' to get compliments from everyone.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Shut-up Taicho! Nobody asked for your opinion.  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>I expressed it anyway. Besides, you shouldn't be on facebook, you should be completing all that paper work you and Kyoraku-taicho were supposed to do last night when you two were out getting intoxicated.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>You're not my captain or my mother so you don't get to tell what to do.  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>I might not be _your _captain but I'm still a captain so I'm allowed to tell you what to do.  
><strong>Momo Hinamori- <strong>Don't take it offensively Rangiku-chan. The only reason why Shiro-chan is still bossing you around is because he cares about you :)  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>Zip it Bedwetter! I do not care about Matsumoto. It just annoys me how she always slacks off.  
><strong>Momo Hinamori- <strong>Sure, I believe you Shiro-chan.  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>Don't patronize me Bedwetter. And stop calling me Shiro-chan. It's degrading, I'm a captain so you should address me as such.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Of course he cares about me, who wouldn't care about someone as charismatic and gorgeous as I am.

**Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck posted on Ichigo Kurosaki's wall-  
><strong>Ichigo, you know I love you with all my heart but Nel can't bear the heart-break of you not being here every day. I'm sorry but I think I want a divorce. Nel still loves you though.  
><em>Renji Abarai and Rukia Kuchiki like this<br>_~_Comments-  
><em>**Ichigo Kurosaki- **Nel...I don't think you get that facebook marriages aren't the same as real marriages but whatever. If you want a divorce, that's fine.  
><strong>Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck- <strong>I knew you'd understand! It's been fun being your wife!  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>How does it feel to be dumped again?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Fuck off Renji.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Maybe if you were a good husband, Ichigo, then your wives would stay with you. It's a fact that good husbands join pet society in order for their wives to gain more pet-coins.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Rukia. I'm never going to play pet society. EVER. Get that through your brain.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Fine. You can stay wife-less for all I care.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>I can wives easy.  
><strong>Byakuya Kuchiki- <strong>You could never get a wife at higher rank than Rukia. You'd be lucky to breathe the same air as a member of the Kuchiki family.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Rukia doesn't breathe air.

**Orihime Inoue posted on Uryuu Ishida's wall-  
><strong>Ishida-kun! Could I perhaps borrow one of those lightsaber thing-a-ma-bobs of yours? Natsui-san is having a sci-fi themed birthday party and I want to go as a Jedi :)  
><em>Mahana Natsui, Tatsuki Arisawa and Michiru Ogawa like this<br>~Comments-  
><em>**Uryuu Ishida- **...Inoue-san...my Seele Schneider blades are not toys or props. They're real weapons and I don't think I would risk the wrath of my father just to steal one from the storage room for you when you could easily purchase a fake 'lightsaber'.  
><strong>Orihime Inoue- <strong>But I want a reaaal lightsaber so I can serve and protect the Galaxy and be a Jedi like you! Pleeeaase, Ishida-kun?  
><strong>Uryuu Ishida- <strong>Inoue-san, I already told you that Seele Schneider blades are not lightsabers. And I am not a Jedi.  
><strong>Orihime Inoue- <strong>Really? You're not a Jedi? Then how come you have a lightsaber?  
><strong>Uryuu Ishida- <strong>It seems this conversation is going nowhere. Okay, how about I make you a Jedi costume for the party with a lightsaber purchased from the Karakura markets on the condition that I'm allowed to add a cape to your costume.  
><strong>Orihime Inoue- <strong>Yes please! Thank you Ishida-kun! I don't mind having a cape, I'll be a superhero Jedi!  
><strong>Uryuu Ishida- <strong>It's not a problem. I'd hate to see what would happen at the party if you brought a Seele Schneider.  
><strong>Orihime Inoue- <strong>Yeah, it's probably best for me not to have one of those anyway.  
><strong>Uryuu Ishida- <strong>I'm glad you feel that way, Inoue-san.

**Orihime Inoue posted on Ryuken Ishida's wall- **  
>Hello Ryuken-san! You might not remember me but I'm one of Uryuu-san's friends. Anyway, I was wondering if I could perhaps borrow one of those lightsabers of yours that you keep in the storage closet of the hospital. It's for a costume party and I promise I won't hurt anybody with it :)<br>_~Comments-  
><em>**Uryuu Ishida- **Inoue-san...what is this?  
><strong>Orihime Inoue- <strong>Oh, Ishida-kun, it's you...Shouldn't you be working on my costume?  
><strong>Ryuken Ishida- <strong>Lightsaber?

**Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto- **I don't like this 'Computer' thing already. Why are there so many useless buttons? Furthermore, this 'facebook' seems like a waste of time. You should all be tending to your squads and fulfilling your duties as Shinigami not staring at a box! I will never understand youth these days...The only good thing about this 'facebook' is that it makes it easier to order you all around. Speaking of which, Chojiro, I would like some tea brought to my office immediately. Make sure it's none of that Western stuff either.  
><em>Sajin Komamura, Shunsui Kyoraku, Chojiro Sasakibe and <em> 32 others like this  
><em>~Comments-<br>_**Chojiro Sasakibe- **As you wish, taicho.  
><strong>Sajin Komamura- <strong>Very wise words, Yamamoto-taicho  
><strong>Shunsui Kyoraku- <strong>It's okay Komamura. We're on facebook so you don't have to grease up to Old-man-Yama until you meet in real life. Just saying.  
><strong>Sajin Komamura- <strong>With all do respect, Kyoraku-taicho, I was not 'greasing up' to Yamamoto-taicho, I was simply expressing agreement with his status. It is true that key boards have far too many useless buttons. Instead of having so many buttons, the key-board-makers should make the necessary buttons larger so it makes it easier to type. Just saying.  
><strong>Shunsui Kyoraku- <strong>It sounded like greasing to me. And I don't see a problem with the size of the buttons on the key board. I mean you'd have to have freaking paws to not be able to type on them. Am I right?  
><strong>Sajin Komamura- <strong>Sadly, you are right -_-  
><strong>Shunsui Kyoraku- <strong>Oh...Sorry Komamura..I completely forgot about the whole 'dog' thing... I honestly didn't mean it that way...  
><strong>Sajin Komamura- <strong>You are forgiven for now. 

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><p><strong>AN: **And end! I hope you all liked this chapter. I decided to add a thingy about Orihime and Uryuu because I've noticed that they've both been pretty neglected from the story despite being main-ish characters. Then again, this facebook thing is more focused on Shinigami than humans because they're my favourite! Please keep those wonderful reviews coming and I'll have an update to you ASAP :D


	8. Chapter 8: A new hacker enters

**A/N: **Hello my lovely readers! Yes, that's right, I'm back! School's started and I'm trying to concentrate on my studies at the moment so sadly I havent been able to update as often as I'd like. But here's a new chapter to make up for it :D  
>Again, thanks for the reviews on the last chapter, they were amazing as always :3<br>Anyway, let's get this shooow on the road!

**Disclaimer: **Let's put this simply. ME NO OWN BLEACH.

* * *

><p><strong>Email: <strong>OrangeShinigami277 hotmail. com **Password: **Notafuckingstrawberry

**-Welcome to Facebook-  
>Rukia Kuchiki posted on Ichigo Kurosaki's wall-<br>**Hey Ichigo, can I watch that new Chappy movie you bought me at the DVD store in town?  
>~<em>Comments-<br>_**Ichigo Kurosaki- **Uhh, yeah sure you can.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki-<strong> Well, I can't because YOU F***** LEFT ME THERE!  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki-<strong> Oh. My bad. Wait for me at the lost children station in the shopping centre.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>-_-

**Orihime Inoue- **I just made cornflake and capsicum fritters to take to Natsui-san's birthday party :3 Who wants to come over and taste test them for me? :D  
>~<em>Comments- <em>  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer-<strong>Honestly, woman? I'm not an expert on social gatherings or human cuisine but I'm sure not even their house pets would want to eat something as vile as that.  
><strong>Orihime Inoue-<strong>Don't lie Ulquiorra-kun! I know you'd love my Capsicum and Cornflake fritters! Since it's you, if you came to visit I'd let you have some of the leftover batter in the bowl :D But only half of it because I love the batter too.  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>Did you read a single word I just typed?  
><strong>Orihime Inoue- <strong>Mm Hm! Every single one, even the fancy words you used.  
><strong>Uryuu Ishida- <strong>Thank Kami I'm not invited to that party  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>I agree with the Quincy.  
><strong>Orihime Inoue- <strong>Oh, Ishida-kun! It seems the zip is broken on the back of the cloak you made for me, so I need you to come around and fix it. Pretty please with French-fries and cream on top? I'll pay you!  
><strong>Uryuu Ishida- <strong>Sure, I'll be there in five minutes.  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>I'm sure while he's there he'd_ love_ to try some of that capsicum and cornflake batter. Wouldn't you, Quincy?  
><strong>Uryuu Ishida- <strong>I quite full at the moment actually...  
><strong>Orihime Inoue- <strong>YES! Thanks Ulquiorra-kun for the idea! As a thank you I will let you lick the left over batter and tomorrow I'll make a WHOLE new batch for you for being so nice to me and making the costume :D  
><strong>Ulquiorra Cifer- <strong>Have fun, Quincy.  
><strong>Uryuu Ishida- <strong>-_-

**Momo Hinamori **is now married to **Sosuke Aizen**  
><em>Gin Ichimaru likes this<br>~Comments-  
><em>**Momo Hinamori- **Gin was here.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>34i90eerasfjo;sofjsdfopeiorjeiorcf90e4580  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>^That's me slamming my face against the keyboard Hinamori, you have some explaining to do.  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>Don't be like that Ran-chan, I think they make a nice couple :D  
><strong>Nanao Ise- <strong>Hinamori-san. Your choice of facebook husband is no business of mine but would you mind de-friending Hitsugaya-taicho before releasing information like this into the facebook newsfeed? He seems to have passed out onto the floor. He's still breathing but he hasn't woken up for ten minutes.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>What the hell Hinamori? HE TRIED TO KILL YOU!

**Rangiku Matsumoto** posted on** Momo Hinamori**'swall:**  
><strong>Hinamori! Even though you're not on chat, I know you're online! (Cause let's face it, it's not like you have anything better to do) WHY ARE YOU MARRIED TO AIZEN? Do we need to check you into Unohana-taicho again for another mental-health examination? Even if it's not real, it's really wrong! Chibi-Taicho's only just woken up and has this massive bruise on his forehead from where his head hit his desk on the way down.**  
><strong>_~Comments-  
><em>**Momo Hinamori- **I have you know, I have _plenty _of things to do other than facebook! I have paperwork and...well, that's not the point! What...I'm not married to Aizen-taicho? What are you talking about? Is Shiro-chan alright? What happened?  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Um, yes you are..  
><strong>Momo Hinamori- <strong>No, I'm not.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Momo, check your relationship status.  
><strong>Momo Hinamori: <strong>OH KAMI, I AM! I sweeeaaar I didn't do that! I must've been hacked or something!  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>By who? Renji and Ichigo are the only ones playing that stupid hacking game and neither of them are insensitive enough to do marry you to Aizen. Not to mention, no matter how daring either of them are, both of them NEVER want to face Chibi-Taicho's wrath.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>It's not stupid T_T  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>It's not a game either. It's a challenge. A competition.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Abarai! Kurosaki! Neither of you hacked Hinamori, did you?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>On the relationship status I commented: "What the hell Hinamori? HE TRIED TO KILL YOU!" Do you think I hacked her?  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Nah, if I hacked her I would've posted a love confession on Toshiro's wall. That would've been hilarious.  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>^Why didn't I think of that?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>It was you, Ichimaru?  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>Took ya long enough to figure it out.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>So does this mean you want to be part of the hacking challenge?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>We can't let him join, he's evil!  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>So? How will that make a difference?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>I don't know...but I'm sure it will somehow!  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>I promise I'll make it more fun ;)  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>A wink face? Are you coming onto me? I don't swing that way but judging by Renji's earlier facebook statuses, it looks like he does.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Fuck you Ichigo.  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>It was a 'promising' wink face, not a... sexual one. Abarai can take it however he wants though. I'm in Hueco Mundo at the moment so it doesn't matter if it turns his dial.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Were you always this much of an asshole, Ichimaru?  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>Probably.

**Tatsuki Arisawa **posted on **Keigo Asano**'s wall:  
>STOP CLOGGING UP MY NEWSFEED WITH YOUR STALKER-ISH PICTURES OF GIRLS IN SKIMPY OUTFITS AT THE BEACH OR I'LL SHOVE YOUR FACE INTO A BLENDER!<br>_Ichigo Kurosaki and Mizuiro Kojima like this  
>~Comments-<br>_**Keigo Asano- **But I have to share with the whole world what I saw today! The sight was just beautiful~~~  
><strong>Tatsuki Arisawa- <strong>Stop posting them! It's disturbing! Why don't you just post them on the walls of people that actual care? Like your own wall, or Chizuru's wall?  
><strong>Keigo Asano- <strong>NEVER! I'LL NEVER STOP POSTING THEM.  
><strong>Tatsuki Arisawa- <strong>I'm deleting you then. That means you'll only have 26 friends. You'll look like even more of a loser.  
><strong>Keigo Asano- <strong>Hey, Tatsuki-chan, there's no need for that  
><strong>Tatsuki Arisawa- <strong>Stop uploading the pictures!  
><strong>Keigo Asano- <strong>I'm sorry, I can't do that  
><strong>Tatsuki Arisawa- <strong>Okay then. Congratulations, I now pronounce you blocked and deleted. You may now kiss my ass.

**Mayuri Kurotsuchi **uploaded 63 photos to the album **'I told you I'd get you back you pig-headed moron, Abarai'  
><strong>_Ichigo Kurosaki, Hisagi Shuhei, Rukia Kuchiki and 112 others like this  
>~Comments-<br>_**Mayuri Kurotsuchi- **Remember last week when you hacked my account? This is redemption, you snot-nosed brat.  
><strong>Hisagi Shuhei- <strong>Hahahahaha, this was when Abarai got really drunk and we all convinced him he was Matsumoto, wasn't it? I can't believe I almost forgot about that.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Oh, so that's why he has watermelons shoved down his robes...  
><strong>Izuru Kira- <strong>He even let his hair out and started flirting with Hisagi-san, I found that bit the funniest.  
><strong>Hisagi Shuhei- <strong>That wasn't funny, he smashed my face against those watermelons. The funniest part was when he started chasing around Hitsugaya-taicho.  
><strong>Izuru Kira- <strong>Until Hitsugaya-taicho had enough and froze the entire bar...  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>How did you even get pictures of this? !  
><strong>Mayuri Kurotsuchi- <strong>The security cameras captured it all.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>I would've preferred if you'd drugged my food or something, this is just low!  
><strong>Mayuri Kurotsuchi- <strong>Don't worry, I drugged your food too.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>With..what?  
><strong>Mayuri Kurotsuchi- <strong>Oh, you'll see in half an hour. 

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><p><strong>AN: **Sadly, I couldn't find anywhere to put Hitsugaya in, so I ended up just including him in other people's comments.  
>Please, keep the ideas coming in people, they're all awesome!<br>Reviews would be absolutely lovely.


	9. Chapter 9: Divorces and iPods

**A/N: **Sorry that it's been a while, but I've been busy with other stuff. This chapter is kind of short, but at least it's up. Thanks for all the amazing reviews, I really am happy just to know I'm making people laugh. Hopefully, I haven't lost my mojo after all this time. Enjoy this chapter. 

Email: Orangeshinigami227 hotmail. com Password: notafuckingstrawberry

-Welcome to Facebook-

**Ichigo Kurosaki posted on Rukia Kuchiki's wall: **  
>Rukia, you vertically-challenged bitch, I know it was you who cut my PS3 in half! What the hell is wrong with you?!<br>_~Comments-  
><em>**Rukia Kuchiki- **It's your own fault, Ichigo. You're the one who decided to divorce me.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>What the hell, Rukia? What has our facebook marriage got anything to do with this?!  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Not our facebook marriage- our facebook divorce. Since I divorced you, I am entitled to half of everything you own. Which includes half of your playstation.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>You're fucking insane! You get half of the other person's stuff in real life, not _facebook _marriages! And even then you don't cut everything in half, you stupid bitch.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Well, how the hell was I supposed to know that? Human laws are so confusing!  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Whatever. Tomorrow, we're going to the gaming store and you're going to buy me a new playstation.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Ha! In your dreams!  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Fine then. If you get half of my PS3, then I get half of chappy.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>You wouldn't…  
><strong>Ichigo Kuroksaki- <strong>After all, Zangetsu's always wanted to meet Chappy.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Ichigo! If you touch Chappy, I swear I will kick you so hard in the groin your father will be able to feel it!

**Rangiku Matsumoto- **Argh! I'm so bored! Like for a like:D  
><em>Orihime Inoue, Keigo Asano, Gin Ichimaru and 107 others like this<em>  
>~<em>Comments-<br>_**Rangiku Matsumoto- **Oh Kami, I'm not doing all of those.

**Rangiku Matsumoto posted on Orihime Inoue's timeline-  
><strong>I like your boobs. Very impressive for a high-schooler, even though they're not as big as mine ;D And your cooking. Those corn-flake fritters are orgasmic.  
><em>Keigo Asano and Chizuru Honsho like this<br>~Comments  
><em>**Orihime Inoue- **Thank you Rangiku-san! You're welcome to come visit and try out some of my newer recipes :)  
><strong>Uryuu Ishida- <strong>You've got to be kidding me...  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>What's wrong, four-eyes? Don't you agree that Orihime's boobs are bangin'?  
><strong>Chizuru Honsho- <strong>I agree! Hime's chest is the best!  
><strong>Uryuu Ishida- <strong>No, I wasn't talking about that. Just ignore my comment.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>So you like Orihime's boobs? My, my, Quincy, you're a lot more perverted than you let on.  
><strong>Uryuu Ishida- <strong>Stop putting words in my mouth!  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>I bet you wish you could put something in Orihime's mouth...  
><strong>Uryuu Ishida- <strong>-_- Would you like an arrow to the head, Shingami?  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Calm down Quincy, just teasing ;D

**Shunsui Kyoraku posted on Nanao Ise's wall:  
><strong>Do you miss me yet Nanao-chan? Don't pretend you haven't been longing to come back to me, my lovely little flower.  
><em>~Comments-<br>_**Nanao Ise- **Actually, I've been enjoying my time as Hitsugaya-taicho's lieutenant. He is very efficient with all his duties as a captain- including the paper work. We've already caught up on the work that Matsumoto-san stuffed behind the filing cabinet.  
><strong>Shunsui Kyoraku- <strong>You're lying, I'm sure I'm the better captain. I bet Hitsugaya-taicho's never serenaded you or offered to come lingere shopping with you before.  
><strong>Nanao Ise- <strong>He's also never sexually harrassed me before.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>How did you manage to find that paperwork? I thought I hid it pretty well.  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>The day you left, Ise and I cleaned out your entire office.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>…The entire office?  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>Yes. We had a lot of fun emptying those forty two sake bottles down the sink.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Chibi-taicho, whyyyy?! You knew I was gonna come back for those!  
><strong>Toshiro Hitsugaya- <strong>For the hundrenth time, it's Hitsugaya-taicho.  
><strong>Shunsui Kyoraku- <strong>Come back to me Nanao! It'll be me, you and Rangiku-chan, we can party it up in the eighth division!  
><strong>Nanao Ise- <strong>As tempting as that offer is, I'm afraid I'll have to decline.  
><strong>Shunsui Kyoraku- <strong>Okay then. I want you to know though, Nanao-chan, if you're ever feeling down, I'll always be there to feel you up ;)  
><strong>Nanao Ise- <strong>You're as charming as always.

**Renji Abarai posted on Yumichika Ayasegawa's wall-  
><strong>What kind of sick shit are you teaching Yachiru? She just burst into sixth squad HQ and broke out into this ridiculous, vulgar song from the human world. Kuchiki-taicho isn't happy.  
><em>~Comments-<br>_**Yumuchika Ayasegawa- **Don't accuse me, Ikkaku's the one who let her borrow his iPod.  
><strong>Ikkaku Madarame- <strong>Thanks for ratting on me.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Why do you have that crap on your iPod. And how'd you'd get an iPod anyway?  
><strong>Ikkaku Madarame- <strong>This crazy chick that I stayed with in the human world gave it to me. I had no idea how to use it and Yachiru wouldn't stop trying to bite me on the head, so I gave it to her to get her to fuck off.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>You should've have just let her sink her teeth into your head. Now, she's over here screaming 'BIG BOOTY BITCHES' in my ear. Who knew human-music could be so freaking annoying?  
><strong>Ikkaku Madarame- <strong>That's not my problem. Why don't you just take the thing off her?  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>I did. And there's some seriously dodgy stuff on here, in the photo album there's about a zillion pictures of girls in swim-suits and underwear. Holy crap, there's even a picture of Rukia on here!  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>What the hell?!  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>It's just her skirt flying up. I know it's her because of the chappy underwear.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>Delete it immediately! And stop looking at it!  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>What? I'm not looking at it, don't worry, it's already deleted.  
><strong>Rukia Kuchiki- <strong>-_- Renji, I can see you.  
><strong>Renji Abarai- <strong>Shit.  
><strong>Ichigo Kurosaki- <strong>Wait a second. Keigo's iPod recently went missing.  
><strong>Keigo Asano- <strong>Lies, that's not mine…it's my friends. Would you mind sending it back to me though..you know…so I can give it to him?

**Rangiku Matsumoto posted on Gin Ichimaru's wall-  
><strong>I like nothing about you. Go hump a cactus and don't like my status again. _  
>Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez and Kaname Tosen like this<br>~Comments-  
><em>**Gin Ichimaru- **Ouch. Looks like someone put an extra helping of bitchness in their cereal this morning. I'm kidding, I love you Ran-chan.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Well, what did you expect you betraying bastard?  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>I thought you'd give me a compliment.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>In your dreams.  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>You shouldn't put a like for a like status up if you're not going to do it properly.  
><strong>Rangiku Matsumoto- <strong>Fine. I like your hair. It's all flicky and soft and stuff.  
><strong>Gin Ichimaru- <strong>Atta girl.

**Yachiru Kusajishi- **I'll take you to the candy shop, I'll let you lick the lollipop! Hehehe, human-world songs are the best, I want someone to take me to the candy shop! Thanks baldy-chan for letting me borrow your music-box-thingy for the day! :D  
><em>~Comments-<br>_**Kenpachi Zaraki- **Ikkaku! You've got some explaining to do!  
><strong>Ikkaku Madarame- <strong>Oh God. -_-

**A/N: **I hope you all liked it! Sorry about the absence of hacking, but I couldn't seem to fit it in smoothly. Review and tell me what you think, ideas would be really appreciated, thanks :D


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